Tag: Complex Systems Lab

Isaac Newton Scientific Revolution Essay

This morning an odd Google alert showed in my inbox.

At first glance, this Google alert seems normal. But then you notice the “Complex Systems Lab.”
At first glance, this Google alert seems normal. But then you notice the “Complex Systems Lab.”

At first glance, there’s nothing strange here. But looking again, I noticed that the webpage was “Complex Systems Lab.” The link directed me to http://complex.upf.edu/?ma=isaac-newton-scientific-revolution-essay.

The hijacked home page for Complex Systems Lab.
The hijacked home page for Complex Systems Lab.

What is a essay writing/selling site doing at an EDU site? So I typed in the base URL, complex.upf.edu, which looks like a legit website for a biophysics lab in Barcelona (though the “falling snow” is a bit old school in an uncool way).

Complex Systems Lab’s actual home page alongside the highjacked version.
Complex Systems Lab’s actual home page alongside the highjacked version.

Turns out that the cached version of the page is filled with Isaac Newton mumbo jumbo. Interesting.

This prompted me to wonder: How much would an essay on Isaac Newton and the Scientific Revolution cost? Well, turns out, that depends.

If I want a college level, 5-page research paper that uses 5-sources, and I’m willing to put up with the “Best available” writer, and I am willing to wait 3 days, it will cost me $120.00

The basic essay includes, free of charge, the “Best available” writer.
The basic essay includes, free of charge, the “Best available” writer.

The “Best available” apparently doesn’t know the difference between college and collage, but what do you expect for a “Free of charge feature!”? If I want a native English speaker, however, that will cost me another $36.

I have to pay a premium for a native English writer.
I have to pay a premium for a native English writer.

Native English speakers apparently don’t care about spaces after punctuation, but now I’m just nitpicking. Most intriguing is the “Plagiarism report.”

For $9.99 your essay comes with an “official plagiarism report.”
For $9.99 your essay comes with an “official plagiarism report.”

What exactly is “an official plagiarism report”? And why would somebody pay $9.99 for one? Is this a self-preservation issue? And is the company admitting that its writers normally plagiarize papers? And why would I pay for a report when the company’s “plagiarism guarantee” assures me that essays have not been plagiarized?

Every essay is guaranteed plagiarism free. I guess they have a hierarchy of vices.
Every essay is guaranteed plagiarism free. I guess they have a hierarchy of vices.

And what would I do with the “official plagiarism report,” brandish it when my professor accuses me of plagiarizing? I would love, LOVE to witness that conversation. I imagine it going something like:

Prof.: Something about this paper seems off. Although I haven’t found direct evidence of it, I would like to ask you: Did you, perhaps, plagiarize your paper on Isaac Newton and the Scientific Revolution?
Student: No. I didn’t. And here’s the official report to prove that I didn’t.
Prof.: [face-palm]

I think I might have to purchase one of these papers just to see one. I will, of course, pay for the official plagiarism report, which I will frame and hang on my wall.